The Girl from Everywhere

Confessions of a Confused Reader: The Girl from Everywhere by Heidi Heilig

This really isn’t about pirating. Thieving happens but not on the high seas. The actual thieving that occurs is worse than the Gordian Knot. It felt very similar to those times that I spend several frantic minutes looking for my phone, only for it to be in my back pocket. The patrons behind the heist are given lettered names; i.e. Mr H and Mr D, there was a third but his name escapes me. (His name could have been PMS for all that I remember.) The alphabet names made me want them to be harden criminals of the underworld, ruthless and murderous, instead they were paper doll characters that only took up space on the page.

Meet the crew of the The Temptation.
Nix is the girl out of time. Her father swept her away from an 1800’s Hawaii after the death of his lover, read that as Nix’s mother. In all honesty, I didn’t feel to strongly about her. I didn’t hate her, but I didn’t love her. She acted more as a quiet babysitter for her drug addled father.

I wish the story was told from Kash’s POV, or even alternated between Nix’s and Kash’s POV. This would have saved that anticlimactic heist as Kash was in the know and Nix was in the dark. This small change in the plot wouldn’t have resulted at me playing detective with so few clues as to what was happening. Kash brought life to The Girl from Everywhere that lacked in rest of the characters. He was vivacious, clever, and he made me care about the plot more than any other character.

Bee is a woman. It took me a while to figure this out. A pronoun might have been missed as I read. I only realized she was a woman when her backstory was divulged that her wife was dead. Then came this baffling predicament; Bee is African and is also a lesbian. But in many African countries, homosexuality is illegal and carries the punishment of imprisonment or death. My question is, how did Bee get married? Does Bee come from a futuristic more tolerant Africa? If so, where did the map come from to get to Bee’s world? Did Slate use a fictional map from a book, and if so, what book was it? This aside, Bee played the part of an older sister Nix, looking out for her when Slate was in opium filled daze.

Rotgut. Is this a nickname for the former Chinese ex-monk? It doesn’t sound very Chinese, more like a pirate straight out of The Pirates of the Caribbean. Looking past the odd name choice, Rotgut was that crazy lovable uncle that everyone wishes they had. (Rotgut reminds me of a rat who is a pirate. Okay. I swear I’m done bringing this up.)

“O, captain! My captain!” Slate is an enigma. He is obsessed with finding the right map to send him back to Hawaii to save the love of his life. His wild moods are dictated by his opium addiction. I get all of that, but when it comes to Nix, Slate seems to only tolerate her at best. But his sudden love for her by the end doesn’t work for me. Someone who can change their affections that quickly, can’t be trusted.

I’m not even going to talk about the love triangle. It’s there. It’s cliched. Girl + BFF + New Guy (aka Map Boy) = It ends how you think it’s going to end.

Come sail away. Come sail away, with me. The art of navigating is a quagmire. Take a map and concentrate. All that is missing is fairy dust and thinking happy thoughts like Peter Pan off to Neverland. Actually, that would have made more sense. Trying to figure out the exact method on how Nix and Slate world hopped wrinkled my brain.

I recommend that you borrow this from the library. It’s evocative landscapes weren’t enough to push the slow plot along. I give it star-clipart-black-and-white-yckMLaKcE star-clipart-black-and-white-yckMLaKcE

Joss’s story line was like working out trigonometry. I want to say she was from the past and came to the present, and wanted to be reborn again. Did I follow that correctly? There wasn’t enough breadcrumbs. Her story line really reminded me of The Mummy: The Dragon Emperor. The movie which no one talks about.

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