I compliment people with the revelry that is bestowed upon royalty, because this world is a cruel and desolate place. Everyone deserves to feel appreciated and special. Yes, my compliments might be off the wall, but I make it unique to each person. Because a friend that she uses her impressive teacher voice and stare to get the noisy teenagers in the theater to shush, is an amazing ability. It’s like the power of Medusa. She might not think it’s anything special, but it’s a talent I do not possess and she must be recognized.
But heaven forbid someone pays me a compliment, even if it’s something as simple as them telling me that they love my new haircut. My entire body goes into shutdown mode like a rabbit in the middle of a field that sees a cat. All brain functioning ceases to exist. People are looking at me. They’ve noticed me. This isn’t a drill. Melt into the floor, now! Crud muffins, they expect a response. The complimenter’s beautiful expectant face is what kick starts my brain into action.
Thousands of possible responses barrage me:
- They have shoes compliment them back.
- Say thank you (insert blush).
- Cheese. I like it.
- Is smiling enough of a thank you?
- Mumble… Today is the only day it’s going to look like this because I just left the salon.
This has plagued me for years. I’m me. A human. I shower and try to look nice, but I don’t actually put an extreme effort into dressing up. The ability to do that escapes me. I pony tail it all the way. Dresses make me feel self conscious, and then when you draw attention to me in a nice kind way, I instantly want to vomit. My brain instantly goes to, I must look like hobo every other day. Which is then closely followed by me complimenting you on your dental hygiene or that Doctor Who shirt you’re wearing. I hate the spotlight and instantly deflect it back to you. I expect everyone to be a decent human being, so when I get a compliment it jars me. I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing, and I feel completely unworthy of your praise. This isn’t to dissuade you from complimenting me or anyone ever, it’s just an insight into what goes on in my brain, and I pray that it also occurs in a majority of other people’s heads.
Honest question, if you compliment someone would you be offended if they handed you an emoji card with a smile? Because I feel like this is my foolproof plan for flubbing any more social interactions.